Category Archives: musings

Trivial

Assalamualaikum,

Lately, I’ve been busying myself with trivial matters that I lost sight of the actual purpose of this life.

I lost time worrying over potential soul mate or wealth accumulation or even contemplating on what to wear and what to eat.

And a good friend shared with me this wonderful enlightment she’s experiencing. I miss that feeling. The closeness to God.

My heart was too busy and I strayed.

Alhamdulillah, Allah has shed light on her and and it spilled over to me.

I will try again…to just be in love with Him and know that He’ll take care of my worries.

Worry less, Love more

Zati

Dear Younger Me

Dear younger Zati,

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It’s rough being 17  for a meek girl like yourself. You’ve always have felt it. That it’s quite hard to gel in with kids your age.

At the time you didn’t know; it was just the way you are. You took time to warm up to new people and that’s perfectly fine! You were afterall created to be at ease with your own company most of the time.

It does made you question things like whether you are quirky, out of touch with the world or plain not lovable to the general public.

Truth is, over the years you are actually an acquired taste kind of person. Not everyone will love you or enjoy your company and that’s really OK.

Fortunately, you are actually blessed with family and a close circle of friends who truly matters. So, the endless worrying was wasted on nothing 😂

You’ll learn that the heart is a strong yet fragile creature. You’ll get heartbreaks….. A LOT. Eventually, you’ll be such a pessimistic bug and always feeling like to throw in the towel early.

Yes, at 29, you still haven’t quite meet your better half. And still trying to have a little more faith when it comes to love.

And Sorry, I couldn’t materialise a wedding by 27. But, you’ll learn that as much as you plan out your life, it will pan out differently and more interesting than what you’ve expected.

I say, take it as God’s way to push you to the edge and make you define yourself.

It’s all cool to settle down with a man – but it is way cooler to be at peace with yourself first before everything else in this world combined.

It is just like how John said in a song

And this is not to say
There’ll never comes a day
I’ll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs
That’ve lead me to a love so strong

-perfectly lonely, john mayer-

Worry Less, Live More.

Love,
Older Zati.

Reconstruction

Strange.

After so many years, I still could not defuse “a pms me”.

In my head, I know it is hormon imbalances and the whirlwind of emotions is temporary.

But I still do fall into the same trap.

Feeling blue, out of deoth. Even cold logic is not applicable no matter how hard I tried.

But a good thing I realised, I have to be extra careful when talking with people during these times. I did some damage though…*sigh*

This reminds me about eternal sunshine of a spotless mind. In some ways, I want to forget everything in “that department” and be not jaded anymore when it comes to people.

For now, I should keep in faith and bring some plasters for potential heartbreaks.

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Worry Less, Live More.

Zati.

You’re not real

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Two times.

Two times this month, I end up singing my heart out while driving back home.

I can’t figure out my own heart.

Heart, are you that easy?

Patience and be at peace, heart.

The matter of life is more precious than throwing it away due to whim.

Reflecting again tonight…writing again tonight.

Counting my blessing and trying not to feel ashamed.

I’ve said my mind and I’ve set my priorities.

Too old to fool around for some kind of fantasy.

Heart, let me be.

For once.

Worry Less, Live More.

Zati.

Early

I woke up too early again.
Thankfully, no vivid dreams.
The serene stillness of the night.
For a while the weariness of the day seems to doze off and I am left on my own.
It is temporary but peaceful.
Quiet times are the most magical times.

When the dawn breaks, the noise will amplify again and back to the daily grind.

Everyone is talking about something to look forward for. But is it really in money and bonuses?

I’m still looking for an answer and I’m sure it is not how much I make.

Worry Less, Live More.

Zati.

Habits

Assalamualaikum ,

At the moment I’m trying to keep up with small changes in lifestyle.

Such as…drinking plenty of water. So far , I manage to drink a litre of water infused with lemon.

Another habit I want to keep up is dhuha prayer in mid morning. So far it’s ok. Just need to focus more and feel more in prayers.

Next up would be apple cider vinegar.

Lets see how that goes.. and yes
running.. need to run again.

How about you? Any habits that you are working on?

Worry Less, Live More.

Zati.