I took a break from an early morning (last minute) revision as the Subuh Azan broke the silence. I let the morning breeze seeped into the room as I gazed at the pitch dark sky. Sometimes I wonder, who is looking back at me as I look into the massive sky.
Sky gazing, the very few things I never got bored of and it just fascinates me more and more. I’m one those people who just lie flat on the grass and stare into space. It calms me everytime.
But the love story between the sky and me goes a long way back. The earliest memory of the sky and still etched in my head is my first flight. I was 3 going 4 at the time and my mom,siblings and I went back to Malaysia. I remembered I had my blue hooded coat on, excitedly skipping my whole way and into the plane. I couldn’t remember anyone else next to me, for sure I was ahead of the rest of my family.
I sat next to the window and nervously waited for the take off. It was night time and this part of the memory is obviously exaggerated. I felt the plane went into orbit. I mean I remembered seeing the globe with blue airglow around it! We were very lucky to be invited into the cockpit minutes before landing. It was awesome! To think of it, it’s my first sneak peek of Malaysia.
A couple years later, I don’t remember what made me actually said this to my dad:
“Abah, I want to be an astronaut”
My dad chuckled and told me that astronauts have be strong and go through rigorous training. I felt so crushed. I mean for a 6 year old to say such a decisive statement to her dear dad, it took guts! So, I forgot about it for a while, my fascination about the mysterious sky.
Then later in lower secondary, I love anything to do with space and stars, I even settled with being just an astronomer. Until I went to boarding school. I forgot all about it – again.With dad passed on, in my head at that moment I need to be an engineer. Looking back, I felt being what my dad was, will bring me back a sense of security. Will make home, a home again. Being just like Dad will bring back Abah again.
So, I totally forgot everything else, I just take the route to be an engineer.
Now, zooming back to the present. I never regretted the engineering path I chosen. The reason always evolves from time to time. And being in Mechatronics has to be one of the best choice I ever made. Then over the last weekend, I was all curled up in the couch, watched anything that was on TV. The last mission: Atlantis and 16 days on Columbia was on.
I felt a sudden pull towards those stories. I was so amazed by the amount of technical wonder that a team effort can create. Every piece of Atlantis was made out of love, dedication and intelligence. And I sort of got overwhelmed when Atlantis took off for the last time. I really understood the feeling seeing your creation just zooms off. Like how one expert in that segment put it:
“It is like seeing off your kid going to college and leaving home for the last time”
But, the 16 days on Columbia hit the home run. The one hour made me rethink about passion and interest and my childhood dreams. Looking at the astronauts at action was inspiring. KC is my favorite. She came off as the quite one. She wasn’t trained in the army like the rest of the crew. The highest qualification that they mentioned was a PhD. I believe she’s the brain. She’s the Spock in that ship.
I’ve been wondering day and night about my childhood dream and I want it to be real and authentic. Now, the dots are starting to connect. I was glued to the TV the whole time when the 1st Angkasawan flight to space. Physics was my favorite because of space. Then I lost it because we always had to do “earthly” examples on static and dynamics (excuses). The first three Star Wars movies are my all time favorite too. Ummm star trek, I grew with it, used to like it..but the drama was an overkill for me. Hubble is one of my favorite invention of all time. Planetarium and airports are my favorite places on earth.
As for flying, it is when I feel most calm, excited and at home.
edited: I wrote my 325th post today.Now, it’s beyond!
